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Tuesday 17 April 2012

[Yaadein_Meri] Judging Somebody ? Too Soon or Not

 

asalam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu all my friends
 
Today's mail has two articles. The first describes something most of us are guilty of in our day to day lives, and is something we need to introspect seriously on, for continuing it will do us no good; on the contrary it could land us in hot water (and blazing fire too) on the Day of Reckoning. The second needs to be widely publicized as non-Muslims need to be aware of the viewpoint of conscientious Muslim women (some at least) on the hijab they adopt. Their constant refrain is that the Muslim women are subjugated by their men, and they have no say in what they are being forced to do. Occasionally a voice is raised by the accused, and this voice not only needs to be heard, but shouted from the rooftops, not as a matter of blind propaganda, but to educate the West that they may not be always right, as they sanctimoniously assume they are.
 
Please do your part in sharing this matter with non-Muslims as well as your Muslim brothers/sisters.
 
Wassalam. Adam.
 
 
 
 


Judging Somebody ? Too Soon or Not?
By Farheen Naaz


The moment we lay our eyes on someone we end up judging them, in both, a good way and a bad way. Each person's perception is different, but in general an individual judges or has wayward opinions about another with regards to his/her overall appearance, way of talking, clothing, walk, way of expressing, job, qualification, place of stay and other such things. Often we end up forming opinions without even knowing the person personally, for example, the other day I went to a jewellery shop with some friends and while we were waiting to be attended to, we overheard another customer asking the sales person in a heavily accented tone for latest and happening designs. Now in most parts of my city such a tone is regarded with someone trying to show-off, don't ask me why! And well, sometimes looks really odd among all desis (but no reason to deem the person as air-headed). So, back on track, someone from the group started commenting on her accent which led to a pretty ugly (not literally) conversation, ranging from how she talked to the way she dressed! (May Allah forgive!) 

What I'm trying to put across here is how we fall into the trap of satan ignoring our own faults and concentrating on forming opinions about others mercilessly. We don't flinch or wince even once before doing so. But when you imagine someone who doesn't even know you commenting or opinionating about you, your blood boils! 

When you don't/wouldn't want someone to do that to you, why do you end up doing the same for someone else?

Leave alone our feelings and whims for a few minutes and let us look at what Islam has to offer us on this issue of judging others mercilessly.

One of the ninety-nine names of Allah is "Al-Haleem" which translates to "The Clement" meaning, Allah subhaana wa ta'aala is not quick in judgment. Allah gives all his servants time. He is patient and waits to see His servants return to Him even if it is after leading a sinful life. 

There is a beautiful hadith which elaborates this attribute of Allah subhaana wa ta'aala showing us mortals how merciful He is when it comes to recording our bad deeds. Abu Umamah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the messenger of Allah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, "The angel of the left raises (and holds) his pen for six hours from the Muslim servant of Allah who has wronged or committed a mistake. So if he regrets and seeks Allah's forgiveness from it, he (the angel) returns it back, and if that's not the case then it is written as one"  [ Mu'kam al Kabeer, Hasan according to Albani]

The mercy and greatness of Allah is beyond words once you know this Hadith. How often do we admonish a person as soon as s/he does something wrong? 99.99999% of the time it is always done! Not a second is spared after something wrong has been done! We need to take heed from this Hadith. How can we judge someone and form ill opinions about them (whether we know or don't know them) when Allah Himself isn't doing so before giving grace repentance time for a believer and repentance time for everybody which lasts until before you die! Are we so perfect to know the status of the heart of any individual and categorize them as good or bad?

One more hadith which I'd like to mention is:
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said"One who helped someone in a trouble in this world, Allah will help him in his trouble in the Hereafter and one who keeps the faults of a Muslim secret in this world, Allah will keep his faults in the Hereafter and Allah remains in the help of the (Muslim) man until he is in the help of his brother."  

The next time we do something or even think of doing something like forming opinions or commenting on someone without knowing the truth of their life, I pray to Allah that we are reminded of the beautiful haidth mentioned and the mercy, greatness, forgiveness of Allahsubhaana wa ta'aala. Ameen.

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In light of the recent bans being pushed by France, Syria etc, I felt a strong need, as a one of the women being targeted, to speak up,
Below is an article that I have compiled, and I pray to Allah Ta'ala that He use it anywhere, and anyhow to englighten whomever He wills.
 
A VOICE BEHIND A VEIL
By Khadijah Natalie Arbee
 
I am a muslim women. I wear the niqaab (face veil).
I'm one of those to whom the new law in France would apply. I'm one of the ones being discussed by politicians, human rights groups and the media.
I'm one of those whom many feel the need to liberate.
I'm one of those you may think is oppressed.
I'm one of those many of you detest the sight of...
I'm one of those whom you may believe is uneducated; one of the ones you may think has no voice.
But I do. So let me speak.

I am not Arab, Asian or even African. I am Australian. No, not 'first generation', 'second generation', or an immigrant. On my mother's side, I'm of French-Canadian descent, and on my father's side; British. I grew up as a Christian, and attended church occasionally. I was in the school swim team, and district netball team. I holidayed with my family in the summer on the Gold Coast, and I'm educated. I have a university degree.
When I was 18 years of age I was introduced to Islam. I studied it, and accepted it a year and a half later. By the time I reached 20, I was wearing the headscarf, and after I married I donned the niqaab.
Because of my husband? No.
My husband did not want me to wear it, although his mother and sister do, and out of respect for his wishes I didn't do so for two years. But I wanted to, and eventually did, and knowing it to be in line with our religion, my husband knew he had no authority to prevent me, and he now greatly admires my strength.
Then, I wore it because of my father? No. He's a catholic.
Because of my brother? Nope, haven't got one.
My uncle? He's an atheist.
Then because of my son? My eldest is only 8 years old. Then why??
Because I want to, that's why.
 
And seeing as though my niqaab does not hurt anyone, that should be sufficient reason for all of you liberals of a liberal society; I should be able to finish my discussion right here. But although it may be so for any other style of dress, it isn't enough when it comes to niqaab for some reason. You want more. So I will continue.
What makes me want to then? Two things: Faith and experience.
Faith? Yeah, faith. Faith in my Creator , faith in His decisions, faith in Islam. A deep faith. Many wander at the faith of Muslims, at their conviction and their commitment. It's a faith, that if you are not Muslim, is hard to explain or describe. The scripture of Islam, the Qur'an has scientific miracles in it, such that have captivated scientists globally, leading many to accept Islam. Moreover, the Qur'an has not been changed in over a thousand years, since it was revealed; not one letter moved from its place. I dare say there isn't a religious scripture like it, and this lends a clue as to the root of such faith.
In the Qur'an, Allah Ta'ala tells us to cover ourselves, 'so as to be known, but not molested'. So our covering is a protection; a liberation.
 
Protection? you ask. Liberation? From what?
This is where I move on to my second reason for veiling. Like I said, I grew up in a Western secular society, in true Western secular style. I dressed secular, lived secular, and enjoyed all the 'liberties' of such a society. Did I feel liberated, free? Suffice to say, we were taught we were, so I never thought to think otherwise. It wasn't until I became Muslim, and started covering , that I really felt liberated, and realised , before that I wasn't.
Yet, time and time again we hear it said that we Muslim women are forced to veil, are oppressed; treated by our men folk as nothing more than 'objects.' And that niqaab, burqa, hijab; whatever term you use, is a form of 'imprisonment'.
But what about the imprisonment of anxiety and depression?
What about the imprisonment of anorexia and bulimia?
What about the imprisonment of frequent rigorous exercise routines?
What about the imprisonment of always feeling the need to look like the super-model on the cover of Cosmo, or the pop-singer in the music video?
What about the slavery to fashion?
What about the entrapment of jealousy??
How many women waste their hard-earned money, destroy their physical and mental health, expose their bodies to vulnerability, abuse and extortion in order to...... in order to what??
In order to gain approval and praise. Who's approval and praise? Men's.
And yes, it seems even other women too. So it seems non-Muslim women are not only slaves to men, but slaves to society as a whole.
Before you scream your disagreement, which many of you may do as a knee-jerk reaction to being told you're also oppressed , stop and think. Look around you, contemplate society today, and its values, its aspirations, its goals, its direction, its past-times, its hobbies....
What good has it done for women to doff more and more clothing?
What good has it done for images of uncovered made-up women to be plastered on every billboard and magazine, on the TV, in the movies, and on the net?
Has it really brought any good for women?
The women in the images may aptly feel good about themselves for a while, but what does it mean for every other women?
Women who look upon these images usually become anxious, jealous, unsure and critical of themselves, or all of these things. Many men who view them will becomearoused, or even unhappy, less satisfied with the partners they already have. What can, and does this lead to?
Cheating, dumping, chastisement, and even harassment of other women, and even children by, men who cannot find a legitimate outlet for their constant arousal. And yes, I can hear some of you; 'then the men must control themselves!' Frankly speaking that argument is well spent, not to mention futile, as most men are, inherently, only able to react to that, the same way a hungry lion would react if thrown a juicy piece of steak, and told not to eat it....
Do the uncovered women captured in these images and industries, or parading around, realise or even care how many young girls are starving, purging and stressing themselves trying to mirror their image? No.
It seems they even take perverse pleasure in it. One barely-dressed singer even boldly and crudely sung recently, 'Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?'
What?!
What is this women and her ilk saying??
What are they implying??
What are they doing to their sisters in humanity??!
So many poor girls, eroding themselves physically and mentally as they watch with jealousy and anxiety their partners ogle singers like this. Have the same thing occur to these women, these 'idols'; have their partners swoon over another similarly attired, and witness their reaction! And when their daughters are molested by men they themselves, or women like them, have aroused, will they reflect?
Will they act?
Will society act?
Yeah, we see it reacting: ban the burqa!
It just amazes me how many women especially, despise my choice of dress. Yet, would they rather their husband's secretary to be dressed like me or otherwise?
Would they rather the waitress serving the table at their anniversary dinner, be dressed like me or otherwise?
Is it me and my sisters who are turning their husband's head, or attracting their boyfriends??
Is it me and my sisters who have led their daughters to anorexia, or their sons to pornography?
Is it me and my sisters whose bodies and faces solicit their husband's/boyfriend's attention on every corner? Is it me and my sisters who have aroused that man to rape or harass their sisters?
Whose mode of 'dress' is truly oppressive and harmful to women??
So now I've spoken, and although I am one, I speak on behalf of hundreds. I've explained to you that the majority of us have chosen this mode of dress, especially in the West. I have told you that we love it, we want it, and I've exemplified for you the inherent good in it. I've discussed here the issue of niqaab based on the suggestion that it is oppressive, or harmful to society, as this is the main reason stated by the French for the ban. When it comes to other issues of security and communication, then please see
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/11/veiled-threats/
for an excellent refutation of these arguments.
So to those of you who really are so concerned about 'liberating' me, then you will listen to what I have said, and let me and my sisters be. 

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