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Friday 26 April 2013

~:C.C.4.U:~ The Wife Translations Guide

 













The wife says: We need


The wife means: I want





The wife says: It's your decision


The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious





The wife says: Do what you want


The wife means: You'll pay for this later





The wife says: We need to talk


The wife means: I need to complain





The wife says: Sure... go ahead


The wife means: I don't want you to









The wife says: I'm not upset


The wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron





The wife says: You're... so manly


The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot





The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights


The wife means: I have flabby thighs.





The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient


The wife means: I want a new house.





The wife says: I want new curtains.


The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!





The wife says: I need wedding shoes.


The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.





The wife says: Hang the picture there


The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!





The wife says: I heard a noise


The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.





The wife says: Do you love me?


The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.





The wife says: How much do you love me?


The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.





The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute.


The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.





The wife says: Am I fat?


The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.





The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.


The wife means: Just agree with me.





The wife says: Are you listening to me?


The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]





The wife says: Yes


The wife means: No





The wife says: No


The wife means: No











The wife says: Maybe


The wife means: No





The wife says: I'm sorry


The wife means: You'll be sorry





The wife says: Do you like this recipe?


The wife means: You better get used to it





The wife says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish


The wife means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this place.





The wife says: Was that the baby?


The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him





The wife says: I'm not yelling!


The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!





In answer to the question "What's wrong?"





The wife says: The same old thing.


The wife means: Nothing.





The wife says: Nothing.


The wife means: Everything.





The wife says: Nothing, really.


The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot.





The wife says: I don't want to talk about it.


The wife means: I'm still building up steam.

















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