o "A Birthday Gift To Grandson"
o "The Images Of A Mother"
o QdJ
o "Heavenly Mother"
o Picture du Jour
o Risque Quote du Jour
o "Wedding Night Prayer"
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
Today is Mother's Day. It may be celebrated in
other days in other countries, but in the US, it's
on a second Sunday of May. I tried to find some
rare "Mother's day" jokes but those are hard to
come by. I hope you enjoy today's selection.
Oh, and don't forget to do something nice for
Mom TODAY! Next year, it may be too late.
LadyHawke
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
"A Birthday Gift To Grandson"
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday
gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water
pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the
nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom
and said,
"I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how
we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied....."Oh, I remember...."
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
"The Images Of A Mother"
4 years of age: my Mommy can do anything!
8 years of age: my Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 years of age: my Mother doesn't really know quite
*everything.*
14 years of age: naturally, Mother doesn't know that,
either.
16 years of age: Mother? Oh, she's hopelessly
old-fashioned.
18 years of age: that old woman? She's way out
of date!
25 years of age: well, she might know a little bit
about it.
35 years of age: before we decide, let's get Mom's
opinion.
45 years of age: wonder what Mom would have
thought about it?
65 years of age: I wish I could talk it over with Mom...
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
Quote du Jour
"The trouble with heart disease is that the
first symptom is often hard to deal with -
sudden death."
-- Michael Phelps
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
"Heavenly Mother"
{DO take it with a grain of salt, please!!}
A very devout nun dies and goes to heaven. Upon
arrival, she is greeted with ceremony and honor and
told she may immediately have any wish she
chooses while her place is prepared for her.
She humbly and politely replies that she would like
an audience with Holy Mary, if this is possible. Peter
agrees on the spot and escorts her personally to a
little door, hitherto unnoticed in the great vault of the
firmament. He knocks softly. There's a murmured
reply from within, and he opens the door and indicates
to his guest to enter.
Within, sitting in a plain chair is a middle-aged Jewish
woman in the garb of the first century knitting.
The nun sits reverently for some time at Mary's feet
and finally gestures so as to ask a question. Mary looks
up from her knitting and indicates it is OK to ask.
"Reverend Mother, please tell me, you were chosen
from all women to be the mother of G-d. You are a
simple Jewish woman, I know. But if you could, just
give me an inkling of what it felt like when it happened
when Jesus was born?"
With a distant look in her eyes, Mary replies,
"Vell, Ich vaist a Maydel...." ***
*** "Well, I wanted a girl..."
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
Picture du Jour
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
Risque Quote du Jour
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted
to marry."
-- Glori Steinhem
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Wedding Night Prayer"
On their wedding night, a young couple
finally retired to their hotel room. After making
her preparations, the bride left the bathroom
to find the bridegroom on his knees in front
of the bed.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm praying for guidance," answered the young
man.
"I'll take care of that," she replied. "You better
pray for endurance."
<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>
No comments:
Post a Comment