As-salaamu alaykum wa rahmat-Allaahi wa barakaatuhu
(Peace be upon you, and the mercy of Allaah and His blessings).
Etiquette of talking to women
http://www.islamqa.info/en/ref/113996
What is the etiquette of talking to women in general and in the following situations: buying and selling; teaching and learning; meetings to discuss work, such as explaining something specific to her? What is the ruling on lowering the gaze in these situations? When is it permissible to look at women in general? I hope that you can explain in full detail.
Praise be to Allaah.
Speaking to non-mahram women may occur because of a need or it may occur needlessly.
If it is done needlessly and only for fun and enjoyment, then there is no doubt that it is haraam and comes under the heading of the zina of the tongue and ears of which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) spoke when he said:
"The son of Adam's share of zina has been decreed for him, which he will inevitably get. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the ears is listening, the zina of the tongue is speaking, the zina of the hands is touching, and the zina of the foot is walking. The heart longs and wishes, and the private part confirms that or denies it."
Narrated by Muslim, 2657.
When there is a need to speak to a woman, the basic principle is that it is permissible, but it is essential to pay attention to the following etiquette:
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The conversation should be limited to only what is necessary and has to do with the matter at hand, without talking too much or branching off into other topics. Think about the etiquette of the Sahaabah (may Allah be pleased with them) and compare it with the way things are today. The Mother of the Believers 'Aa'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) narrated the story of the slander (al-ifk) that the hypocrites accused her of; in her hadeeth she (may Allah be pleased with her) said:
Safwaan ibn al-Mu'attal al-Sulami al-Dhakwaani was behind the army and had set out at the end of night. In the morning he reached the place where I was and he saw the shape of a person sleeping. He recognized me when he saw me, as he used to see me before the hijab was enjoined. I woke up when I heard him saying Inna Lillaahi wa inna ilayhi raaji'oon (Verily to Allaah we belong and verily unto Him is our return) when he recognized me, and I covered my face with my jilbab. By Allah, we did not exchange a word and I did not hear any word from him apart from his saying Inna Lillaahi… He made his camel kneel down and put his foot on its foreleg (to keep it steady), then I mounted it, and he set off, leading me on the mount, until we came to the army.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4141 and Muslim, 2770.
Al-'Iraaqi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The phrase "and I did not hear any word from him" is not repeating the previous idea ("we did not exchange a word"). It is possible that he did not speak to her; rather he spoke to himself or he recited Qur'aan out loud or said dhikr out loud such that it could be heard. But none of that happened. He did not speak to her; rather he used silence in that situation out of good manners and politeness, and because of the seriousness of the situation in which he found himself.
This hadeeth also shows good manners with non-mahram women, especially in the case of being alone with them out of necessity in the wilderness or elsewhere, as Safwaan did when he made his camel kneel without speaking or asking questions. End quote.
Tarh at-Tathreeb, 8/53
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Avoiding joking and laughing; that is not part of etiquette and dignity.
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Avoiding staring and always trying hard to lower the gaze as much as possible; if there is a quick glance for the purpose of speaking, there is nothing wrong with that, in sha Allah.
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Not softening the voice, by either party, or choosing soft words; rather they should speak is the same, ordinary tone of voice as they would speak to anyone else. Allah, may He be exalted, says, addressing the Mothers of the Believers (interpretation of the meaning): "then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner" [al-Ahzaab 33:32].
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Avoiding the use of any words that may have some suggestive meanings, and so on.
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Not going to extremes in embellishing one's speech . Some people use their skills in communication with others by movements of the hand or face or by quoting poetry or proverbs or romantic phrases. This is a means that the Shaytaan uses to open the door to haraam attraction between the sexes.
Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
None of the poets see anything wrong with talking to, addressing or looking at non-mahram women, but this is contrary to Islam and common sense, and it is exposing oneself to temptation. How many people have been affected in this way with regard to their religious commitment and worldly affairs. End quote.
Rawdat al-Muhibbeen, p. 88
We have previously discussed this issue in the answers to questions no. 1497,59873, 102930
On our website there is a section devoted to some of the fatwas that have to do with the etiquette of talking to women; please refer to it.
And Allah knows best.
2. Travelling without a mahram in case of necessity
http://www.islamqa.info/en/ref/122630
The wife of a friend needs to travel from Tunis to France, because she was living with her family before marriage, until she could attend an appointment to obtain French nationality, so that she could visit her family later on without any problems. Please note that her husband will take her to the airport before the plane trip and her father will meet her at the airport when she arrives. Is that permissible for her?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The basic principle that we have stated in numerous fatwas is that it is not permissible for a woman to travel without a mahram, whether the trip is for an act of worship such as Hajj, or to visit her parents, or it is a permissible kind of journey for other purposes.
This is indicated by the texts and common sense. For example:
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The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "No woman should travel except with a mahram and no man should enter upon her unless she has a mahram with her." A man said: O Messenger of Allah, I want to go out with such-and-such an army, but my wife wants to go for Hajj. He said: "Go with her."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1862
Muslim (1339) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allaah and the Last Day to travel the distance of one day, except with a mahram."
And there are many hadeeths which speak of the prohibition on a woman travelling without a mahram; they are general in meaning and include all kinds of travel.
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Because travel usually causes exhaustion and hardship, and because women are weak and need someone to look after them and stay with them, and things may happen in the absence of her mahram that she is not able to deal with. These are things that are well known and are frequently seen nowadays because of the large number of accidents involving cars and other means of transportation.
Moreover, if a woman travels alone she may be approached and tempted to do evil, especially when there is a great deal of corruption. Someone may sit next to her who does not fear Allah and he made may doing haraam actions seem appealing to her. It is perfectly wise that the woman should be accompanied by her mahram when she travels, because the purpose of having her mahram present is to protect her and look after her. Travelling is a situation in which emergencies may arise, no matter what the length of the journey is.
An-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: To sum up, everything that may be called travel is forbidden to women without a husband or mahram. End quote.
More than one of the scholars have narrated that there is consensus among the fuqaha' that women are not allowed to travel without a mahram, except in exceptional cases.
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said: al-Baghawi said: They did not differ concerning the fact that women are not allowed to travel for purposes other than the obligation (the obligatory Hajj) except with a husband or mahram, apart from a kaafir woman who becomes Muslim in dar al-harb (non-Muslim territory) or a female prisoner who is released. Others added: or a woman who becomes separated from her travelling companions and is found by a trustworthy man; in that case it is permissible for him to accompany her until he brings her back to the group.
End quote from Fath al-Baari, 4/76
With regard to a woman travelling for the obligatory Hajj without a mahram, the scholars differed as to whether this is permissible. The correct scholarly view is that it is not permissible. This has been discussed previously in the answer to question no. 34380.
This is the basic principle concerning this matter: a woman does not have the right to travel without a mahram and she must be accompanied by a mahram throughout the journey; it is not sufficient for her husband to bring her to the airport and for her father to meet her in the other country. But when there is a case of necessity, there is nothing wrong with it, because necessity makes permissible things which are ordinarily not allowed.
Based on that, if obtaining French nationality will relieve your friend's wife of considerable hardship, and it is not possible for her mahram to accompany her on her journey, then there is nothing wrong with her travelling on her own in the manner you describe, just as there is nothing wrong with her obtaining this nationality.
Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allah preserve him) was asked: What is the ruling on a woman travelling on her own by plane for a reason, with her mahram taking her to the airport and another mahram meeting her at the other airport?
Answer:
There is nothing wrong with that if it is too difficult for the mahram, such as her husband or father, if the woman has to travel and the mahram cannot accompany her. In that case there is nothing to prevent that on condition that the first mahram takes her to the airport and does not leave her until she boards the plane, and he contacts the country to which she is headed and makes sure that her mahrams there will meet her in the airport, and he tells them the time of arrival and the flight number. That is because cases of necessity have their own rulings. And Allah knows best. May Allah send blessings and peace upon Muhammad and his family and companions.
End quote from Fataawa Ibn Jibreen.
See also question no. 14235
And Allah knows best
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Islam Q&A
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Mohammed Usman
Jeddah-Saudi Arabia
The Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said,
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