~:C.C.4.U:~ IMP FOR LIFE

 

HIDE THE FAULTS OF OTHERS THAN ALLAH WILL HIDE YOURS FAULTS... Accept that no person is perfect; all have some faults; focus on own faults; not next person's faults; do not look for faults or highlight next person's faults all the time. HIDE THE FAULTS OF OTHERS THAN ALLAH WILL HIDE YOURS FAULTS    41 practical ADVICES FOR TROUBLED MARRIAGES   There is no such thing as a perfect marriage; all marriages have some problem or the other, till the end; this is a test for Insan in this world Always focus on the positive points / aspects of the marriage and one's partner My partner has been ordained for me by My Creator; so no point in finding fault with His decree Realise that Allah made all different – temperament, habits, background – yet all have to live together; this is the challenge of marriage Realise that Allah has made man & woman different; man is to be the kind and  compassionate protector of woman, not her tormentor Each partner must try to fulfil rights of the other and forgo own rights; not to fight for and demand rights Accept that no person is perfect; all have some faults; focus on own faults; not next person's faults; do not look for faults or highlight next person's faults all the time Never try to be a perfectionist in marriage issues Make a firm commitment to make marriage work; affirm this by word and deed; do not say or do things that may damage the marriage Be considerate of one's partner; be sensitive to one's partner; do not hurt feelings Appreciate each other; express it now and then; do not take next person or favours for granted Always be objective, not emotional; be rational, balanced and just Avoid assumptions, suspicions, negative  perception of partner; always give benefit of doubt; must verify facts Gradually work towards overcoming one's weaknesses; give the next person a chance; be kind, not harsh Never be defensive; admit your mistakes; Allah alone is perfect. Avoid cynicism, pessimism, aggression & negativity always Anger is dangerous; it is also Haraam; control it by reading, water, wudhu, etc. Do not walk away in anger for more than a few hours; try to make up as quickly as possible with loving gestures Listen to the next person attentively, calmly, patiently; do not comment right away; think it over; take time to respond Lots of communication is required; communication requires skill and tact Compromise is essential; marriage is not a one way street; it is a dual road Consultation in a friendly manner in all major issues is important Balance the rights of everyone; do not be imbalanced; help one another to fulfil rights Learn to relax & unwind; be humourous, not tense and anxious all the time Be polite in speech & courteous; not rude & abrupt; do not scream or shout Forgive and forget; everyone makes mistakes Do not bring up the past; look forward, not backward; bygones are bygones; just as we want Allah to forgive us, forgive others Mutual respect is important; never run down one's partner Help each other in housework and chores;  a working mum has extra pressures Take interest in the next person's matters; do not be selfish and self-centered Physical and verbal abuse is absolutely unacceptable Confidentiality is important; never discuss with too many people; consult a pious elder or learned Aalim if problems occur; but do not bottle up problems Time away from each other occasionally is healthy for the relationship Try and spend free time together, especially evenings & most weekends Money matters must be done with consultation; save, be thrifty; but also not to the extreme; (do not be extravagant) Have a medical check up for pressure, sugar, etc. which can cause anger and frustration No point in attributing all problems to Sihr (Jadu); avoid doubts; if necessary consult only an authentic Aamil (read Manzil for protection) Romance is needed occasionally to revive the marriage Come onto Deen fully; Salaah, Zikr, Tilawah; attend programs; start Taleem at home even for few minutes; avoid sins and change life When things go wrong, always ask: Where have we gone wrong? Rectify wrongs, give up sins, repent, all will come right soon, insha allah Never underestimate the power of Dua; ask Allah for His help at all times, especially when things are not right Each one will go to own grave & stand alone before Allah to answer for self, not for others. With this in mind, do one's duty and leave the rest to Allah.                            Join Us                         http://groups.yahoo.com/group/to_know_about_islam/

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