~:C.C.4.U:~ :) HILARIOUS{!!!}~India Calling[-:)SMILES FOR U ALL]~ Actual Responses from a Tourism Blog

'As-Salaam Alaikum' India holds a certain sense of mystery for the world outside its borders...Please read on to find how curious foreigners are about India and its ways... OR ......? how ignorant they are ! this was taken from a tourism blog where people could post queries if they were planning on making  a trip to India .... {N.B. The answers are the actual responses by the website officials....who obviously have an excellent sense of humor! } Q : Does it ever get windy in India ? I have never seen it rain on TV,  how do the plants grow? ( UK ).   A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die [!]  Q : Will I be able to see Elephants in the street? ( USA ) A: Depends how much you've been drinking {!}   Q: Which direction is North in India ? ( USA )   A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees!!! Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden ) A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India ? ( Sweden ) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: Can I bring cutlery into India ? ( UK )   A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can I wear high heels in India ? ( UK ) A: You're a British politician, right? Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore , and is milk available all year round? ( Germany ) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal !!!   Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA ) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets!!! Q: Do you have perfume in India ? ( France ) A: No, WE don't stink. [LOL] Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India ?( USA ) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India ? ( France )   A: Only at Christmas !!! Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )   A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first...[omg!] Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? ( Italy ) A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime !!! Q: Do you have Toilet paper? ( USA )   A: No!!! we use sand paper !!! (we have different grades) ...'Salaams' & Smiles to All...     ... Y a s m i n ... "Never Despair Of The Mercy Of Allah"